Pizza and Politics
You've got to hand it to Domino’s Pizza. They have either the CEO with the most chutzpah or the cleverest marketing team in the industry, or both. Unless you’ve been vacationing on the dark side of the moon the last few weeks, you’ve probably seen this pizza maker’s astonishing new ad campaign which some Madison Avenue execs call “historic.”
The TV commercials feature Domino’s incoming CEO, Patrick Doyle, bashing his own pizzas. In the ad Doyle confesses that focus groups say that Domino’s crust tastes like the cardboard box it comes in and the sauce is no tastier than ketchup.
This public self-flagellation is a setup for Domino’s happy announcement that it is sending the bland pizzas back to the kitchen, exiling the pizza chef to Italy where American pizza makers are stoned, and totally re-creating the product. (When I finish this column, I’m sending out for a new Domino’s pizza just to reward CEO Doyle for his honesty!)
Our government officials could learn something from Domino’s CEO. When the so called “underwear bomber” tried to ignite a nasty Christmas gift lodged in his lingerie, the plot was foiled by a few gutsy passengers. Next morning on national TV, Janet Napolitano, the secretary of homeland insecurity, bragged, “The system worked.” What system was that? The one that expects airline passengers to bone up on their judo before flying the unfriendly skies?
Napolitano is the old pizza in Obama’s cabinet. Her unwarranted confidence on the morning talk shows was cardboard bravado. Like Domino’s retired pizza recipe, Janet needs a serious makeover. Obama later rebuked his cabinet officer with a candid admission of systemic failure. But Napolitano’s initial confident reaction to a terrorist threat was unnerving. We can live with bland pizza. We can’t live with an ostrich, head in the sand, as our chief guardian of homeland security.
The shockwave rippling down Madison Avenue after Domino’s unprecedented ad campaign reinforces what we already know. Truth in advertising in the public sector and in government is as hard to come by as really good pizza.
Each day on Capitol Hill a handful of lawyer politicians secretly cobble together legislative monstrosities that will affect each of us for decades to come in ways we can’t begin to predict. Democrats claim they’re playing reform. Republicans say it’s economic suicide. Where’s the truth? Right? Left? Somewhere in between?
I tried reading online the last published version of the health care bill. The language is so obtuse I got a migraine and nowhere in the 2,000 pages could I figure out whether my new health insurance would pay for it.
It’s amazing. In 1776 we declared our independence on a single page of parchment. In 2010 it takes over 2,000 pages to explain whose going to pay for your shin splints. If only there were one legislator on Capitol Hill with the bold candor of Domino’s new president. We might actually be able to judge for ourselves whether these new legislative behemoths will cure our ills or make us all sicker.
The TV commercials feature Domino’s incoming CEO, Patrick Doyle, bashing his own pizzas. In the ad Doyle confesses that focus groups say that Domino’s crust tastes like the cardboard box it comes in and the sauce is no tastier than ketchup.
This public self-flagellation is a setup for Domino’s happy announcement that it is sending the bland pizzas back to the kitchen, exiling the pizza chef to Italy where American pizza makers are stoned, and totally re-creating the product. (When I finish this column, I’m sending out for a new Domino’s pizza just to reward CEO Doyle for his honesty!)
Our government officials could learn something from Domino’s CEO. When the so called “underwear bomber” tried to ignite a nasty Christmas gift lodged in his lingerie, the plot was foiled by a few gutsy passengers. Next morning on national TV, Janet Napolitano, the secretary of homeland insecurity, bragged, “The system worked.” What system was that? The one that expects airline passengers to bone up on their judo before flying the unfriendly skies?
Napolitano is the old pizza in Obama’s cabinet. Her unwarranted confidence on the morning talk shows was cardboard bravado. Like Domino’s retired pizza recipe, Janet needs a serious makeover. Obama later rebuked his cabinet officer with a candid admission of systemic failure. But Napolitano’s initial confident reaction to a terrorist threat was unnerving. We can live with bland pizza. We can’t live with an ostrich, head in the sand, as our chief guardian of homeland security.
The shockwave rippling down Madison Avenue after Domino’s unprecedented ad campaign reinforces what we already know. Truth in advertising in the public sector and in government is as hard to come by as really good pizza.
Each day on Capitol Hill a handful of lawyer politicians secretly cobble together legislative monstrosities that will affect each of us for decades to come in ways we can’t begin to predict. Democrats claim they’re playing reform. Republicans say it’s economic suicide. Where’s the truth? Right? Left? Somewhere in between?
I tried reading online the last published version of the health care bill. The language is so obtuse I got a migraine and nowhere in the 2,000 pages could I figure out whether my new health insurance would pay for it.
It’s amazing. In 1776 we declared our independence on a single page of parchment. In 2010 it takes over 2,000 pages to explain whose going to pay for your shin splints. If only there were one legislator on Capitol Hill with the bold candor of Domino’s new president. We might actually be able to judge for ourselves whether these new legislative behemoths will cure our ills or make us all sicker.